Premarital Resources

  • Welcome

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    I am excited for your wedding! Clicking on a topic will reveal all the resources you need for that module. I look forward to working with you as we prepare for your special day!

  • Books and Resources

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    This is one of my favorite books on marriage. It is designed to help your marriage "go the distance." It covers: What are vows and why are they important? What is a husband's role? What is a wife's role?

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    This is a study on the Song of Solomon, an Old Testament book that follows the love between King Solomon and his first wife. It is a practical book on love, marriage, sexual satisfaction and making your marriage last.

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    This recent book by Pastor Mark Driscoll focuses on helping a husband and wife become best friends. It also covers marital selfishness, the danger of our past, respect and a great Q&A section on sex and intimacy.

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    Marriage does not remove sexual temptation. Many men continue to struggle with sexual temptation and pornography in marriage. This short book is one of the best written to help men with sexual purity before and after marriage.

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    Sex is God's idea. It was a good idea. This honest book covers sexual technique. It is a Christian guide to how a husband and wife can learn to sexually satisfy their spouse.

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    This excellent book deals with how to get control of your thought like to in our sex-saturated world. It is especially important for men but is also a good read for women.

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    A little older than A Celebration of Sex, this book is known as the best book in the business on sexual technique. It provides insight for sexual creativity and wisdom on resolving sexual struggles.

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    This short book is an excellent read for a young wife and/or mother. It helps a woman understand what are the important virtues a Godly wife and mother needs to cultivate in her life.

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    This short book is the heart-felt true story of Robert McQuilken. When his wife came down with early-onset Alzheimer's, he gave up his career to care for her and keep his marriage vows. Keep a box of tissues next to as you see what a true man looks like.

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    This excellent short book is especially helpful for young married men training them how to honor God by loving their wife sexually without selfishness.

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    This very practical book provides young men and woman a biblical understanding of the danger of the modern dating and how to honor God as you search for Mister or Misses Right.

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    This academic book maintains its readability. It is woven around an explanation of Ephesians 5:21-33. It has also has an excellent chapter of life as an unmarried adult.

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  • Finances

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    Listen to "The Secrets of Contentment" sermon - MP3
    Answer the following questions - PDF
    1. What are Paul’s 4 Secrets of Contentment?
    2. What does it mean to trust in God’s providence?
    3. Why should we be satisfied with a little?
    4. What does it mean to look past our circumstances?
    5. What is ‘spiritual under girding’ in life?

  • Rock'in the Roles

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    Listen to the "Rock'in the Rolest" sermon - MP3
    Answer the following questions - PDF
    1. Where does the pattern for a husband and wife’s relationship come from?
    2. Are they arbitrary or reversible? Why or why not?
    3. What is the key piece of a husband’s role in marriage?
    4. Whose job is it to set the love temperature in the home?
    5. What was Christ’s goal for his church?
    6. What should a husband’s goal be for his wife?
    7. What does a wife do with the love she receives from her husband?
    8. What does it mean for a wife to submit to her husband?
    9. What is every man looking for in a wife?

  • Sample Wedding Ceremony

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    Review and revise the sample wedding ceremony - PDF

    CrossWinds Spirit Lake Campus — Sample stage layouts for a wedding - PDF

  • Conflict Resolution

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    Conflict Resolution Work Sheet - PDF
    What do these verses teach about resolving conflict in marriage?

    1. A patient man has great understanding but a quick-tempered man displays folly. Proverbs 14:29
    2. A gentle answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1
    3. The Heart of the righteous weighs its answer but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil. Proverbs 15:28
    4. Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city. Proverbs 16:32
    5. A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense. Proverbs 19:11
    6. A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control. Proverbs 29:11
    7. You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy’. But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. Matthew 5:43-44
    8. Do not be overcome by evil; but overcome evil with good. Romans 12:1
    9. In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. Ephesians 4:26
    10. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29
    11. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32

  • Sexual Responsibilities

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    Listen to the "Sexual Responsibilities" sermon - MP3
    Answer the following questions - PDF
    1. What are the 3 basic rules about sexuality in a marriage?
    2. What 3 things happen when you become sexually intimate with someone?
    3. How is sex like duct tape?
    4. How many years does it take the average couple to learn enough about each other to reach peak sexual satisfaction?
    5. Does the Bible tell you that you have a responsibility to sexually satisfy your spouse?
    6. How often should you sexually satisfy your spouse?
    7. Do you have a responsibility with your body for your spouse? What is it?
    8. Do you have a responsibility with your appearance for your spouse? What is it?
    9. What is the only legitimate reason you can deprive your spouse sexually?
    10. What does Satan do when you are sexually depriving your marriage partner?

  • Solomon on Sex

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    In 2012, I taught through the Song of Solomon. As part of that series, I asked the congregation to submit their questions on sex, love and marriage. This is a link to a compilation of answers.

    Q&A on Sex, Love, Dating and Marriage

  • Sex Before The Wedding Night

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    Sex Before the Wedding Night is an intimate discussion on marriage and sexual intimacy by Dr. Ed Wheat. He is the author of Intended for Pleasure and a nationally recognized expert in the field of marriage, communication and sexual intimacy.
    I recommend listening to Part 1 at least two months before the wedding.
    Sex Before the Wedding Night - Part 1 - MP3
    1. What About 25 Years From Now?
    2. God's Marriage Counsel in One Sentence!
    3. Ten Destroyers of Love
    4. The Best Way to Guard Your Love Affair
    5. What You Need to Know About Love, The Facts and The Lies
    6. Communication
    7. The Perfect Wedding Gift
    8. The Love Life Pattern That Works
    9. Seven Tests Before You Say "I Do."
    I recommend listening to Part 2 one week before the wedding.
    Sex Before the Wedding Night - Part 2 - MP3
    1. God's Plan For Physical Oneness
    2. Preparing for the Wedding Night
    3. Realistic Expectations
    4. The Honeymoon Environment
    5. Essential Items For The Wedding Trip
    6. Some Facts About Family Planning
    7. Dilating the Hymen
    8. Avoiding Newlywed Cystitis
    9. How To Bring About A Wife's Orgasm
    10. A Definition of Normal Sexual Intercourse
    11. Comparing Female and Male Responses
    12. The Importance of Intimacy
    13. Bedroom Etiquette
    14. Relaxed Love Play
    15. The Right Timing
    16. Learning To Please Each Other
    17. Maximum Pleasure in Intercourse
    18. The Afterglow
    19. Protecting the Gift
    20. Biblical Principles for Enjoyment of Sex
    21. A Love Affair Commanded
    22. The Joy of Physical Touching
    23. Exercises in Sensuousness
    24. Quick Problem-Solving
    25. The Source of Love
    26. A Prayer of Faith

  • Avoiding An Affair

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    One in every four of us know someone who left their offline relationship for someone they met online. Allowing yourself to lust after someone of the opposite sex is a guarantee of marital trouble. Learn how to avoid this marital pitfall.

    1. The Trial of Lust