I Am Living With My Fiancé. We Are Having Sex. How Do I Talk To Him About Waiting?

Just tell him you are done having sex until you are married. I don’t care where you tell him or when you tell him, just tell him. Tell him today, not next week. I know he won’t like it. He needs to move out. You need separate places to live. Don’t tell me you can’t afford two separate places. You can’t afford NOT to honor God. The damage you are causing from your sin far outweighs anything it will cost in cash to live in abstinence until your wedding. If he can’t afford to move out, you shouldn’t be getting married to him because he is not prepared to take on the manly responsibility of a wife.

If he refuses to give up sex until the wedding night, you don’t need a wedding. You need to break up. He is more in love with sex than he is with you. He is not willing to honor you, he is interested in using you.

The Bible is clear about how we treat someone of the opposite sex before marriage.

Treat... younger women as sisters, in all purity. 1 Timothy 5:1–2 (ESV)

The Bible has much more to say about purity before marriage besides this. We will cover more about this later in the series. I think both of you know the right thing to do. It is just a matter of courage to do it.

Let me say a word to this guy. This should not be something your fiancé leads on. If you are going to be a godly man, you need to lead in this. If you aren’t man enough to honor your fiancé before marriage, you won’t honor her after marriage.

You are not loving and cherishing your fiancé as Christ loves the church and gave himself up for her. You aren’t giving yourself up for your future wife, you are using her. This is sin.

Yes, you can repent and be transformed in this area but it means you must take this seriously and pursue honoring Christ in this issue.